An Imaginary Realtime Article Tale is Told!



There was supposed to be a proper realtime article for the 2014 Sillyventure party in
this spot. As generally happens, the precious text, collected over the course of three
days, is carefully stored on magnetic media that turns out to be as frail as a 300
metre tower block made out of crystal sugar honeycomb breakfast cereal.

Then when people ask to see this, apologetic shrugs abound from the organisers, as
there is only a pile of very sweet tasting dust left, once they've got everything
back home. The realtime text is now random particles and flavours and no longer
exists coherently.

Anyway, to overcome this, I am attempting to recreate the entirety of the
original realtime, as best as I can recall from my head. This is to make a brave
and noble attempt at making a replacement realtime text.

Warning! - Extracting data from inside of CiH's head is not to be recommended,
or attempted at home by unqualified personnel, especially by CiH himself! Serious
outbreaks of nausea, hallucinations, mania and self-harm may ensue if you
disregard these guidelines!

Further Uwaga! - Any Polish text from the original realtime has been magically
translated to English by CiH's thought processes. Kind of..


                          Sillyventure SV214K Realtime Article

DAY ONE (Prequel)

18:05
Here begins the realtime article for SV214K, write nicely plz- Atari rulez!

Grey.

18.47hrs

CiH logs on for the first time…

Well we're here at last. That was a journey and a half. Couldn't land at Gdansk
Airport as they were still hosing debris off the runway from the previous failed
attempt. Still, it was only Ryanair, nothing important.

I see the realtime article is back with its usual Portuguese/Klingon hybrid
keyboard. Amazing what Atari Corp came up with in their later senile years.
Still time to head off to town as dinner awaits!


21.5?

i AM AT PArTY - WhERE IS FReE BEeR!?!!?!

(Wodka Yakub, A well known Polish uncategorised person?)

22.22
It is I, TRONIC OF EFFECT! Back from the mists of time. Oh wow, this is the first
demo party I've ever been to! Still, I'm all grown up from that optimistic youth
with a proper job and all, so I'm now known as TRONIC OF EXPENSE ACCOUNT!

22:32

Hi guys, Ferlease here. It's cool to be back at the historic Sillyventure Party
here in Gdansk. I'm waiting for the other two team members to arrive tomorrow.
Did I tell you, yes Dildo Fatwa have a new demo!

22.50hrs

We're sad, we're old and we're calling it a day. A long day starting with
never-ending bliss at Luton Airport at too far early hundred hours, so it's
time for bed!

CiH.

(Day Two? - First proper day)

???

03.47???
AMIGAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

1=1+1=2??


6:49 morning

Noone here, it's all dark! Apart from this veeerrry bright screen. Aieee!
The light!

(Unknown)


08 27.

AdamK here. Sleeping at the hostel suckz! No room heater and a temperature of minus
12! I had to gut a polar bear and climb inside for body heat. Still, I've eaten
pizzas worse than this!

08.41

Hwelo People!

Graet to be live at the awesomely hot Siliventure 2014K Party!
Now wheres Dipsy?

.Chipsy. (A random Polski scener)

09:24hrs.

CiH logs on for the first morning session. No sign of breakfast yet, but plenty of
coffee thanks to the old chap at the front of the school. Ferlease was bringing a
new demo of some sort with him, but he might have some problems with it?

09.56.

A great night's sleep so far at least, much needed by all. Breakfast is due,
then hopefully the other two team members, Charcoal and Pongo Snodgrass. The first
Dildo Fatwa group meeting in years! - Ferlease.


10:38

It is time for more phat sounds, from Mr STUSTUSTU!

UltraCzyd (Polish scene musician.)


1204hrs

Wow! Hellava journey! I smoked 1116.25 cigarettes to get here!

Still, the new demo is finished, at 04.00am this morning. Or Thursday morning,
or Wednesday?! I'm not sure when it is?! WHAT DAY IS THIS?

Defjam / lsl Checkpoint


13:19

Wee ar bak!

Charcole on the keys of this creasy keybored. A long overedue rebirth of teh
Magamighty Dilldo Fatwa! Mad journee, aparently Gdanzk airport was closed due
too a Teknical fault. But they kno that Pongo Snodgrass is koming! Verry
sensibul people there!

Pongo kneaded his own plaen. And then they hadd to burn it afterwords! Now
whears Ferlease?


?????

BeeReree! Wher Is BeeR? b--b-b-b-eeer!


14:32hour

Earx here after a stupidly long journey. It looks like I'm the only reasonably
sane poster on here. Anyway, I used to have hair. It was green (Wistful sigh.)


15:14

No Earx, I am the other sane and sensible voice on here! Have you read any of
the rest of this realtime yet?

CiH.


16>06

Why do all the other potato chips hate me so? - Chipsy

Beacause you are a potato-headed lamer! - Dipsy!


16:40

ABSOLUTE FUCKING NIGHTMARE! - No new Dildo Fatwa Demo today! Ferlease only went
and recorded it on the wrong sort of disks! When we said 'record the new demo onto
some disks', we clearly meant 3.5 inch floppy disks. Ferlease has only gone and
recorded it onto twelve inch vinyl records!

Now that sort of mistake would have been obvious before setting off, but he didn't
bother to test anything before getting here. Broke two of them trying to get it
into his 4160 STE's floppy drive slot.

So no demo from us, and that REALLY SUCKS!

A very pissed off Pongo Snodgrass

16.45hrs

Ferlease back on to offer an explanation. Those disks were sold to me by Ebay as
100 percent legitimate Atari compatible floppy disks, they were! The seller said
that they were standard issue for Hong Kong Atari ST's! - I'm gonna report that
trader when I get home and I'm really sorry guys. Nevermind, there's the rest
of the party still to enjoy.


17:11

gwEm here at long last! Journey made difficult by Gdansk airport being stuck at
a 1950's tech level, for an Australian bush airstrip. Unfortunately, there's
no Flying Doctor Service, just Ryanair.

17:23hrs

Glad you made it gwEm. I think we'd better go and calm down Charcoal. He's
looking for Ferlease and has got a table leg from one of the school desks
to use as an improvised club.

CiH.


18:05hrs

(Something so impenetrably Polish, it broke the Google translator - in several
places and very hard!)

18,14

Goddam it, that was a rough journey! Our scheduled flight was cancelled. The
replacement flight was a green painted aircraft, not one of the regular airlines
I don't think. They didn't land so you had to jump out with a guy at front shouting
"Green light, one-two-three, JUMP!" So we did. My parachute got hung up on a
 picturesque spire in Gdansk city centre. Deez landed okay, lucky bastard.
Still we're here now.

Baggio, the Wandering Swede is back!


18:45

Opening ceremony, and Devils show soon!

Grey (Organiser)


19:30ish

gwEm - Wowsa! Great photo's of the hot babes in the devils show!

gwEm's Polish girlfriend - "What is that darling, let me see!"

gwEm - "Nooo, it's nothing at all, I'm pressing delete now! Look, I'm really
pressing it!"


19:46

I'm just so overwhelmed to be here with the Atari demo scene greats!

Fanboyey (random scener)


20???

Britelite, iS thAT YouUuu? (Wodka Yakub)


21:01

Charcole Hear! - No demo which suxx, but weer off to get drunksky at Stu's
consert! Ferlease is paying!


(Day Three)

00:04

Stu's concert was a blast! Eardrums and sinuses know that they've had sound
chip tunes at max volume! Also Ferlease was having to buy a lot of drinks for
Charcoal and Pongo Snodgrass tonight for some reason!

Speaking of Pongo, he was very useful in speeding up the otherwise very slow
door checking procedure at the club. Once the bouncers got a whiff of him,
they scarpered quick and left the entrance unprotected. So we were in!

CiH.

00:21

One word for tonight. Stu Stu Stu!  - Erm, no, that's three words. I'm so confused!
  Zerkman.

00:34

Alors! - We Frenchies defied the puny mistakes made by others in heavier than air
flight. Instead, we opted for an ultra realistique simulation of my new game
'Racer 2' for the road journee from La Belle Francaise, to the northerly
wilderness of Polski Gdansk!

Chuck is missing ze titties, he is melancholique.

Thadoss


Time??

Fuck da mainstreams sounds, Atari rules!!

????

.0323.

Great news insomnia fans, there's only four more sleeps until Xmas!
Defjam lsl / Checkpoint


06:54

Kerrist! - My bottom! Tried to keep up with Wodka Yakub in the drinking compo,
big mistake! I think I killed one of the miniature toilets upstairs with streams
of power poo?

Britelite.


Eight am precisely!

I've just arrived by state of the art 19th century travel methods like steam
packet and hansom cab.

Whyyy does everyone shy away from mee? I only want to live like common people!

Joseph Merrick, The Elephant Man! 1862-1890.


08:54

Samurai reporting here. I've got a new intro from Inter Developments, but I'm not
sure if it will be released. My tablet is updating for Windows 8 constantly.
Still, I think the "Error updating, reverting changes" intro will be a wild
compo smash!

09:42

Slept the sleep of the righteous. Ready for today's competition action.
Ferlease is thinking of entering one of the remaining 'demo disks' as a wild
compo entry. Namely for the strange squeaking and growling noises of the data
being played back in audio. I'm not so sure?

CiH.


10:22

Last night was a blast, breakfast was great. Now there isn't room to breathe
properly in here, so we're staying in the dining room.

Laters! - Baggio.


10.33

Lot's of hot sweaty bodies in the party hall - get in!
Pongo Snodgrass


10:47
A day too late for the Devils Show! Damn undt Blitzen!

Ficken! and Bumsen! - Two random German sceners


11..12

I have been hearing disturbing tales of copyright infringement of my precious
works. I am resolved to spank the pert buttocks of the naughty pirate Justin
Timberlake!

UltraCzyd


11:50

Ferlease here. With an air of mounting excitement, we of Dildo Fatwa have prepared a
new plan, in the absence of our planned demo. We're going to do a live performance
at the wild compo! I've been sworn to secrecy by the rest of the group, but of
course, being me, I blurted it out on social media to the biggest possible
audience two minutes later!

12.13 o'clock

I want to slleeepp with common people! - Joseph Merrick, The Elephant Man! 1862-1890


13:26hrs

Looking forward to the compo's tonight. There you'll see a rebirth of EFFECT! with
the new Industrially Safe menu disks, not to mention the even newer Agriculturally
Dubious compilations.

I'm going out a bit later to stock up for tonight, so I'll be known as TRONIC OF
GIN AND TONIC!


14:01
Chipsy, where are you?!

bleeeeeeee!

14;40?

Lily thePink thePink thePink

(Ed note:- Isn't it a bit early for this kind of drunken random stuff?)

NO IT ISN'T..
Britelite


15.01

Dipsy, its alright, I'm here! I forgive you!

Huj!
Huj!


16:19hrs

Been out to the old town of Gdansk. Me and Deez have been trying the local beer.
I can heartily recommend the 'Intransigent Countess', which is a light beer,
4.6 percent alcohol by volume, with a pleasant nutty aftertaste.

 - Baggio -


 -AMIIIIGAGAGAGAGA!-


1842 hours

Wee went into teh old towne of Gadanzk for a graet meel. I hadd Stake and
chips at the Citie of Angles Restorant! Pongo hadd the Sour Kraut with hiss,
worser luk for us!

Charcole


19:09ish?

A random series of squeaks and blips announces the start of the music compo's.
Or is that a faulty microphone at the organisers table?

gwEm.


19:46

Coming soon, Monastically Inert Compilation disk 1! - The very best of Atari
squeaks, blips, and floppy drive whirring noises!

TRONIC OF EFFECT!

20:02

** Organiser Announcement:- Competitions are now starting! **

Grey


(Nothing added here, as every bit of space occupied by bodies trying to watch
the competitions.)


10.37hrs

If the demo compo doesn't finish by midnight, I'll have to go to bed!
Deez.

But you're a big boy now, you can stay up as late as you like!
Baggio.

10:53

Place your bets, what time will the compo's finish this year? 02:00hrs, 03:00hrs,
or even 04:00hrs? - I'm going for the middle option!

CiH.


(Final day)

00:16

The Falcon demo compo's were something else to behold. If Dune's "Aztec Human
Sacrifice Simulator' doesn't get first place, then I'll eat my ceremonial
feathered high priest head-dress, garnished with human skulls!

CiH.

00:21

Yeah, some of the best Falcon code I've seen in a long time. Might even get me
back to coding on the Falc- Wait a minute, type very carefully here! I didn't
actually say that! - Earx



02:31

Yet again, the crazy kid Defjam, or lsl owns the ST demo compo. His tribute to
Lazer's 'Lost Blubb' demo, 'Lost Glubb' should win this. But I'm a tiny bit
dubious about Defjam modelling the dancer?

CiH.

02:46

Deez has gone to bed some time ago, the poor little lamer! These were the best
demo compo's in recent memory that I've seen!

Baggio.


03:01

We're waiting in trepidation for the Dildo Fatwa 'live' performance at the wild
compo! Then we're off to bed straight after.

CiH

03:14

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY ORGANISER PRIORITY ANNOUNCEMENT - ALL PEOPLE IN THE PARTY HALL,
LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!  - Grey

(--- Power off ----)


(--- Reboot -----)

09:0??

This is somewhat weird, the realtime machine has been set up in the school
playground, with a very long extension cable going into the school. Then again,
the final part of last night was very strange and not a little bit traumatic.

As it turns out, the Dildo Fatwa 'live' performance was a faithful recreation
of the Japanese cult TV hit 'I have a bad case of diarrhoea', including doing
the Zuiikin Gals aerobics dancing in replica neon coloured gym bra's and pants.
They nearly got away with it, but Pongo got too intensely into his role, and
followed through with an actual attack of bad diarrhoea in mid performance!

There are sights that cannot be forgotten, no matter how much professional
counselling is offered afterwards. That was one of them...

The other was the sight of 200 plus people trying to leave, all at once,
through the narrow corridor out of the party hall, whilst simultaneously
throwing up.

To cut a very long and distressing story short, the police were there very
quickly. Pongo has been deported from the country in a sealed crate. We hope he
chokes on his own foul gases, but we doubt that will happen. A cleaning up crew
with full biohazard gear is decontaminating the party hall, so that's why
we're out here.

Anyway, I think this will be the last posting from this realtime from me.
I get the impression that Grey wants us all to leave as soon as possible.

CiH.


WheEres tHe bEEEr?

Britelite.


09:50h

It was a fantastique partie. Right up to the moment that the Pongo Snodgrass
imbecile had a merde attacque in his performance!

Thadoss


10.07hr

Damn Pongo! Wee hadd teh Wield Kompo in the Bagg! And he hadd to goe and
emptie his bowells lieve on staege! No wonderr Gray haetes us!

Charlcole


10:23 hours

IMHO, someone (Pongo!) got a little bit tiddly last night! - Too much wine
methinks! It was a cool party apart from that little mishap and I look
forward to another one.
 Ferlease

10:45

COMING SOON, the new range of compilation disks, 'Lavatorially Lethal'. With the
greatest accidental toilet moments of the Atari scene gathered together!

TRONIC OF EFFECT!


11:03hr

MY EYES! THE STENCH STILL BURNS! Apart from the traumatic blindness, it is
probably the best Sillyventure ever!

gwEm


11:18

'Pongo's squirty mayhem' - A sustained jet of liquid faecal matter, 5.6 percent
alcohol by volume, not recommended to try and taste at all!
- Baggio

I missed all of this!
- A smug Deez.


11:29

I will need another 1439 cigarettes to remove the after-stench!

Defjam / lsl Checkpoint


11:38

I'm watching some random dude, I think it's Ultraczyd throwing up. I never
realised that so much sick can come out of just one person!
 - Samurai


12:01

No-one has won any prizes! - I'm off home to cry! - Grey

(Final power off)

- - End of SV214K Realtime - -

All text faithfully retrieved from the brain of CiH, which is a bit
like a black box flight recorder, but a lot more messed up!
- December of 2014.

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