~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ G O D L E N E S Zelda Release 13.0 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zelda is ace. We know because we have played it. You haven't yet played so are as yet unaware of its greatness. You have two relatively simply choices. 1. Load up the program and enter the realm of huge enjoyment. 2. Continue reading this doc, become bored and irritated and eventually throw your socks out of the window in an irrational fit of frustration. Congratulations, you have chosen choice 2. So you want to find out how to play this game then. Imagine the classic "Ultimate - Play The Game" releases like "Atic Atac" with lots of cool RPG elements thrown in and you are beginning to get the idea. The game begins, as all good games should, with a waterfall. This indicates that the programmers have used the infamous "waterfall model" in the design of the game. There are also strong indications that 'Z' was also used, the name of the game being a comedy extenstion of this methodology. Begin by registering your name(s) in the start screen. Try to avoid the obvious schoolboy error of calling yourself "AAAAA". You should now be in zelda land. Confusingly, although the game is called "Zelda", your name is officially "Link". Bobbins name I know, but it probably sounds great in Japanese. Begin by entering the cave on the first room where you pick up your sword. This is quite handy if you want to kill monsters which is pretty necessary for making progress in the game. Alterntively you could not bother with the sword and amuse yourself by wandering around the few monster-free rooms in the maze. When you kill monsters they will leave shiny Rupees behind. These are used as currency in the Zelda world. You can carry up to 0xFF (256 decimal) of these whacking great stones. The logistics of these little chap humping around these huge weights are not worth applying the laws of physics to. "But what" you ask impetuously, "is my *motivation*?" Well all those pesky pieces of the triforce have gone missing again and you to find them. The have been stashed in underground dungeons and guarded by ferocious monsters. All undergound levels and numbered and you have to complete them in order. There are maps and compasses hidden in these sections which can help you to navigate them if you look at them with your eyes. The are numerous items that you have to pick up to progress. These are hidden in underground sections, in rocks ( which can be bombed ) and bushes which can be burnt. Want to know more? Well play the game! If you get completely stuck then you can have a quick peek at the walk through. If you are still stuck, you can call "BRAINDANCE" the official Zelda helpline on:+(44) (0)181 361 2811 Released at OrlandoJam, May 30 1998 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MUSIC -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The top tune that accompanies Zelda was scored by our very own clasically trained musician MSG. He has recently had his hair cut. The mod is a remix of a composition by Toodeloo of Dead Hackers Society and 3LE of Coma. No, we don't know who he is either. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TRAINER MODES -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- o INFINITE HEALTH Never suffer any heart damage! o INVULNERABILITY You are impervious to monster assaults o INFINITE MONEY A constant supply of brown envelopes from Mr Al Fayed o INFINITE BOMBS Instant IRA Mode o INFINITE KEYS No door can resist you! ================================================================================ (C) 1998 RESERVOIR GODS ================================================================================