o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o o o o HOBNOBS WITH SATAN o o o o A 128 Byte Intro o o by ReservoirGods o o o o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o As we all know, the prince of darkness is rather partial to the odd oatmeal based biscuit. He even enslaved son-of-Rudyard Mr. Kipling to inflict Cake based terror on the masses. Imagine popping round to Lucifer's humble abode for a coffee morning and stuffing your face with chocolate biccies whilst staring into the vortex of despair. ( It's like Luton but bigger ). As the crumbs fall into a hiccup in the space/time continuum they are stretched into cobwebs spanning infinity. Their mass is reduced to zero whilst their size envelops the universe. "More Tea?" enquires Satan. "No thanks, I've got plenty" you say nodding towards the bucket of hot liquid on your armrest. "Oh go on, go on." insists the bringer of misery. You think it unwise to argue. "And another biscuit?" "Well.." you hesitate, eyeing a pile of biscuits the size of the Alps waiting to be scoffed. "You can never have too many hob-nobs." the toaster of humanity says with a wink. "The packets do seem to run out quickly..." you begin "Packets! Pah! I get them by the factory load. I just send down some natural disaster or plague onto the workers and whilst they are dying in agony I help myself to a couple of lorry loads of the ginger magic!" "I suppose that's one way of..." "Perks of the job." remarks the ambassador of evil as he takes a large slurp of tea. "Isn't PG tips great?" "I don't want to know what you do to the monkeys to get so much!" you protest. "Oh its nothing really." says the harbinger of destruction with a dismissive wave of the hand. "On to more important matters. What do you think of that Tony Blairs?" "Erm..." "He's a wonderful guy. I remember meeting him at a small but exclusive restaurant in Islington - I was sorting out a particularly nasty bout of food poisoning. He the glint of a megalomaniac in his eye, even then. I said to him, Tony young lad all this could be yours. You give me socialism and I'll give you great Britain. It was a great deal." You sigh. "And I thought it was all down to Peter Mandelson." The devil laughs nervously. "Oh no. Nasty piece of work he is, but quite gormless. I'm not looking forward to him turning up." "That won't be for ages though will it?" An impish glint flickers across the lord of darkness's eyes. "Its sooner than you think. The great millennium dome disaster! I can't wait! Now, more hob- nobs?" o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o HOBNOBS WITH SATAN o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o What you will need: o HASBRO "My Little Falcon030" o A monitor capable of displaying colour images o An FPU ( quite important this! ) o GEM 98 operating system o A little patience Switch your machine into 320x400 True Colour mode. For desktop dads that is: 40 column Interlace On (Double Line Off on VGA) True colour mode Run HOBNOBS.PRG Watch and marvel! Eat some hobnobs in some vicious recursive parody of life! o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o HOBNOBS WITH SATAN o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o Hobnobs with Satan was coded on a Wednesday afternoon. MrPink adopted his new alter ego of FPU-DAD and starting bashing out many strange instructions that all begin with the letter F. FPUs are FABS.* * NB Coders joke. Does not contain traces of humour in any sphere of society. FABS converts the source operand to extended precision ( if necessary ) and stores the absolute value of that number in the destination floating point register after rounding the result to the precision selected in the floating point control register. You can now laugh ( if necessary ). o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o HOBNOBS WITH SATAN o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o Contact: mrpink_rg@hotmail.com [ FPU Jokes ] sh3@zetnet.co.uk [ Camping Gear ] msg_rg@hotmail.com [ Windscreen Photos ] ripley_rg@hotmail.com [ Spare Monitors ] http://www.acs.bolton.ac.uk/~msg1css/maison.htm htpp://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/zmoe3/three.htm Leon O'Reilly. Cwm Isaf. Abermule. Welshpool. Powys. Wales. SY15 6JL. UK o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o HOBNOBS WITH SATAN [C] 1998 RESERVOIR GODS o . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . o